After a long hiatus...67 weeks to be exact, i am back. Back to use this thing as my negative outflow. To cut a long story short, my pshyco ex is a bitch and was gonna have me up for legalities on myspace cos apparently i was 'abusing' her verbally. What a tart.

Anyway, i should start from the beginning.

I met my ex last year, we went out for a year and a half, it ended about 2 months ago. Everything has been turned upside down. The reason we broke up, is because she wanted to be a man. Yes a man. With all the bits. What a fucked up lesbian she was!! Anyway, i couldnt go down that road cos frankly, not to be a bitch, i have all the appriciation for people for being themselves, but it just freaked me out.TOTALLY. Im not into that stuff...and as open minded as i am...it was deffo not for me. So she cracked the shits at me, and i moved out of our flat that we had rented together, (even tho we shouldnt have because we were rocky then) and moved back to my parents house. Which is all fine and dandy for me.

Which brings me to whats been going on recently. Now since my ex is a bitter, road sucking, vicious, caniving, manipulative bitch - she has taken everything i once had, put a shot gun to it, and blew it into a thousand little pieces. Im in the same class as her, which makes things diffcult as i have to phsically restrain myself from decking the shit out of her, cos she is just a smart arse who will NEVER be as nice as she thinks she is. She's very good at the fucking around she does..i give her credit for that, but honestly, if i was as fucked up as her, i would of gone off my trolley a loonnnng time ago.
 
Anyway, so since i live in a fairly small town with a tight gay community (no pun intended!) everyone knows everyones business. And i HATE that. Because everyone that im friends with, the bitch has the 'balls' to go and make chummy chummy friends with them just to spite me. Im sick of it. It gets to the point where you have no idea who to trust, and its like being in solitary confinment complete with padded walls.

She hacked into my myspace page, called me a hoe, wrote obscene messages to a girl ive been talking to (and she got jealous as she is) hacked into my hotmail, just to see what id be writing. Now of course, this is all hearsay, but what can i say, i know full well she did it. And she can go to hell.

She makes me so mad. Sometimes i feel like giving up on everything i know....but i can't do it. There's this tiny miniscule little gleam of hope and optism that is back there, telling me not to give up...not to give in to her. Not to let her win. Because i am better than that. I have moe respect for myself. 

I am a good person....ive not always been the happiest, but you can always rely on me. Im a true friend, i hate backstabbing. Though i seem to get the worst friends that do it constantly. 

You can do it jess. Be the best i know you can be. There's still some left in there somewhere, you just need to dig deep - unearth it and let it shine.

xx